Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My Ruler Isn't Your Ruler

The Big Guy and I have been blessed with five kids. We homeschool them. We have commitments with sports, music lessons, church activities, friends and more outside of our home. These children need to be fed and clothed. The place where we live needs care also. It's a full life.

I'm often asked by other woman, "How do you do all that?" This question is often accompanied by statements like these, "I could never do that" or "I feel like I can't keep up with my two kids" or something along those lines.

Here's my answer to all of the above: "I DON'T do it all! You haven't been called to be me."

Everyone compares themselves to others. It is human nature. But for some reason, us gals seem to do it all the time. We make ourselves miserable in the process. Trying to measure your life with someone else's ruler is a pretty sure fire to suck the joy right out of it!

Trust me - I've been there and done that.

I have a wonderful friend of many years who is just a bit ahead of me in the whole wife and mother thing. She is a couple of years older, married before me and had her first child just a bit before my oldest, Nate, was born. I love this woman and think she is amazing. Because of this, I watched what she does in her life. I firmly believe that God gave her to me as a friend to help me along in my journey with Him, my husband and my family.

However, somewhere along the way many years back, I started comparing what she did in her life with what I was doing in my life. I started using her ruler instead of mine to see how I measured up. It seemed I was coming up short. It made me frustrated, depressed and self-doubt started to creep in.

Thankfully, after not too long, I realized what I was doing. God has not called me to live her or anyone else's life. He has a plan for me that is mine alone. As long as I am striving to live that life and using that ruler (the one God has for me), it is all good.

It is a good and blessed thing that we gals have friends. God uses other women to teach and admonish us. We're supposed to encourage one another. It's a good thing to watch others and learn.

However, please leave my ruler in my junk door. You've got your own!


  1. So true Wen! We have got to stop doing this with each other, and just cheering each other on instead! God gave "different gifts to (wo)men!"

  2. thanks Wendy, I needed to hear that today.

  3. Beautiful word, girl! Get that message out. Hugs, m

  4. Great post! I think I might print this one out and make copies!!

  5. Sorry if I stuck my ruler in your drawer; I'm glad you threw it out! I love you!

  6. Lis, that's the whole one else can stick their rulers on us. I took yours! Love you, too.

  7. When I was a-hikin' the AT, we said, "Hike your own hike." This was a response to all the other hikers who would criticize this hiker's approach, or that hiker's way of thru-hiking.

    Then some smart-aleck said, "It's part of my hike to criticize your hike, so shut up and let me hike my own hike."


    I guess that's probably not helpful, but because I'm a guy, it's funny. Don't you judge me. ;-)